"Wanting" is the motivational drive to pursue a reward. This is strongly associated with dopamine pathways, particularly the mesolimbic system.
It's been interesting to work with my clients to distinguish the vast difference between wanting vs liking something.
The definition of “wanting” is often misunderstood as simply, “It would be nice if it happened,” without any intention or motivation to make it happen. More importantly, wanting isn’t just about motivation – it also requires accepting the sacrifices necessary to pursue it.
From a Taoist perspective, everything has a counterbalancing force (not to be confused with an opposing force), as expressed through the yin-yang. Light only exists in relation to darkness, and push only exists in relation to pull. In the case of wanting, obtaining something necessarily requires sacrificing something else. The motivational drive behind wanting is therefore inseparable from a willingness to make the sacrifices required to pursue it.
This concept comes up frequently with my coaching clients. Wanting a new job is a good example: but what are you willing to sacrifice to get there? Are you willing to dedicate your evenings to updating your portfolio? Spend weekends networking? Practice interviewing? Accept uncertainty? Without a corresponding willingness to sacrifice, the desire often remains at the level of, “It would be nice if it happened,” or simply, “I like the idea of having a new job.”
Distinguishing between these two meanings helps restore clarity to the concept of wanting.
To truly want something means having both the motivational drive to pursue a desired outcome and the willingness to sacrifice something in order to attain it.
“Wanting”: the motivational drive to pursue a reward. This is strongly associated with dopamine pathways, particularly the mesolimbic system.
“Liking”: the pleasure experienced when you obtain the reward. This involves opioids, endocannabinoids, and other neurotransmitter systems.
Next time you ponder if you want something, ask yourself if you're willing to sacrifice the comforts of your current scenario to get there. Otherwise, no worries – it's also okay to like the idea of something, just don't expect results.